Funny thing is...

Once upon a time, in a land far far away. . . more specifically South America, there was a girl who had a photo album. This album contained every single photographic evidence of her existence. It captured moments from her infancy to childhood, and then her pre-teen years. This girl had to travel and leave the life she knew behind, and with it, her album. It got lost somehow and to this day, it remains lost somewhere in the land of the Incas. . .O.K., actually, we left the albums behind. I can't remember why. I think we left it with my older brother and he lost them. Anyhoo, the album is lost somewhere in the city and someone now has naked pictures of me. So off we go to Asia where, for some reason, the pictures were lost too. Now I'm here in sunny California where all my pictures are in another kind of album, one inside my laptop. A laptop that was invaded by a mean virus who took over the mother ship. Now every picture I have ever had is gone, which is funny because, before my laptop, there was a desktop computer, and the same thing happened to that computer. It's like my past is gone. A big black hole, like the ones out there in the galaxies, sucked it all.

It's not a big deal but it's funny that I also don't remember much about my childhood. . . I have to have mad cow. This post will continue. . . as soon as I remember what it was about. . . oh yeah. . .

Vincent D'onofrio

D'oh!!

I love my parents a lot, and I say this often because it's true. But there are times when I think "I wish they are not alive when that happens." There are mistakes I know I'll make, and when I make them, I truly wish my parents are not there to see them. I can tell my sister and brothers to mind their own business, but you can't say that to your parents. So here's to keeping all mistakes secret.

On a side note, I told somebody today I was dieting and they said "why? do you wanna disappear?"

I hate that I can't see what they see and I hate that I a couple of weeks ago I would have seen it. I hate that mommy dearest is making me look in the mirror and not like what I used to like, and I hate that I let it bother me so much. . .O.K. I have a bill to pay, a bill I kind of can't afford so any body image issues have taken the bottom place is terms of priorities.

Love Rainy Days

This is what best friends look like

And so it goes. . .

Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.

-Winston Churchill

And you can have this heart to break

162 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why in the hell are parking permits so damn expensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Motherfufjkdjglkjdfsljdsjfklsdjfljslajfdglsdjflsfdkjsa;l!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Decisions, decisions. . .

60-something year old guy comes in for his appointment. Looks at the magazines, ponders about which one to pick. I get distracted, missed which one he chose. The doctor calls him and I look up just in time to see him putting down this week's issue of Us Weekly. I guess he really wanted to know how Jen stays thin! That deserves a big lol :)

Ps. I would have lost all respect for him if he had picked up the issue with twit and twat's fake wedding.

Guilt is a strong word

I mean, when we say we feel guilty, we are basically saying we have either done something wrong in the past, or are doing something wrong in the present, or are about to do something wrong in the future. But if guilt is such a strong feeling, why can't we just fix whatever we did wrong, stop doing what we are doing wrong, or stop ourselves from doing something wrong in the future? Because most of the time, it's either too late to fix it, it's too good to leave it, or it must be done regardless.

Thanks to many factors, I feel guilty when I eat junk food now, because I'm so effin addicted to carbohydrates. . . as is the rest of the world. I could have just had the fish and veggies I brought from home, but just before lunch time, the mail lady comes in, strutting her stuff, with a bluetooth on her ear and some hard core chola eyebrows (pure class, no seriously. . .). Mother of all horrors!! COUPONS!!! For Carl's!!! I can get free medium drink and fries for the purchase of a charbroiled steak sandwich! 100% sirloin steak!

Ok, I'm abusing the exclamation mark. Bottom line, I get my ass in my car, drive to Carl's, get mine, and get going. Now I'm sitting in the break room at work, typing about how guilty I feel after eating the damn meal. And as guilty as I feel, I'm still sipping my coke (no diet, just regular Coca Cola) pondering about guilt. I felt guilty when I was paying for the meal, knowing I would feel guilty while eating it, and now I feel guilty that I ate it. . .

But it was sooooooo damn good!

What a dumb slut!

I have been looking for this song all over the net!!!!!!!!! I've been looking for "Angel" when the singer was "Arcangel!!!" What a dumb bitch! hahahahaha! I love this song!

Yo le pregunte al pastor del amor y el me dijo
Que se lo entregara a Dios.
Que no me sintiera solo
Que estar solo era mejor
Que vivir de una ilusión
Yo le pregunte a un artista del amor a primera vista
Dijo que era un error
Que será de un novelista
Sin amores en la vida hay que ser mas realista

Y ahora que no te tengo pienso en todo el tiempo
Perdido que perdí contigo
Pues por amarte a ciegas yoooo
No escuche y me lance al vacío por amor
Todos me dijeron todos me advertían
Que hay flores que tienen espinas

Yo le pregunte a un señor del amor y el me dijo
Que ignorarlo era mejor
Que yo era joven y el dinero debería de ser mas importante
Que mil amoreeeees
Yo le pregunte a un anciano en un lugar muy lejano
Del amor y las pasiones
Me dijo hijo la vida es un cristal de doble filo
Corta y pende de un hilo

Y ahora que no te tengo pienso en todo
El tiempo perdido que perdí contigo
Pues por amarte a ciegas yoooo
No escuche y me lance al vacío por amor
Todos me dijeron todos me advertían
Que hay flores que tienen espinas

Yo le pregunte a mi padre del amor y la inocencia,
de la fe la paciencia y sabes lo que dijo
Hijo siempre es mejor ignorar el corazón
hazle caso a tu conciencia
Yo le pregunte a mi madre del amor
que te tenia dijo que eran fantasías
Que si yo no la creía con el tiempo aprendería que ella tenia razón

Y ahora que no te tengo pienso en todo
El tiempo perdido que perdí contigo
Pues por amarte a ciegas yoooo
No escuche y me lance al vacío por amor
Todos me dijeron todos me advertían
Que hay flores que tienen espinas

Yum. . .

There's nothing to say, why am I even writing this? Why are you even reading this? What's wrong with you? Let's just look at Chris Meloni and sigh together.

I wish I could

I wish I could. . . tell my mom. . . that she's making her daughter feel like a fat cow. . . which would be fine . . . if I was a fat cow.

I wish I could. . . tell her that I know she's doing it out of love, but all I can think of is: "120 pounds. . . is it that bad? Will I be better at 110?"

I wish I could. . . tell my boss we are not stupid, the preferential treatment towards her sister is so evident. . . and it's insulting that she thinks we don't see it.

I wish I could. . . also ask her is her breasts are real.

I wish I could. . . come up with a better story for the scar under my collarbone.

I wish I could. . . ask Anderson Cooper once and for all if he's gay. . . so I can stop picturing us together already.

I wish I could. . . meet Bill Maher, tease and flirt with him unceasingly and make him crazy about me only so he can feel guilty for liking someone whose beliefs he despises. . . then he'll know how I feel.

I wish I could. . . ask my dog if he's happy.

I wish I could. . . tell a taxi driver to "follow that car!"

I wish I could. . . be closer to God.

I wish I could. . . tell Al Gore "thank you."

I wish I could. . . have developed feelings for that guy whose heart he claims I broke.

I wish I could. . . have feelings period. . . sometimes.

I wish I could. . . go back in time and not crash into that boat.

I wish I could. . . come up with a genius idea and get rich off of it.

I wish I could. . . buy my parents a home so they don't have to work another day in their lives.

I wish I could. . . pay my sister's tuition.

I wish I could. . . have a mini pig.

I wish I could. . . have a black great dane.

I wish I could. . . remember how to tie a tie.

I wish I could. . . have all of my brother's dress shirts.

I wish I could. . . have the balls to take one, maybe he won't notice.

I wish I could. . . tell Richard Roeper nobody will lust after him the way I do.

I wish I could. . . make Paris Hilton dissapear.

O.K., time to stop wishing!

Cheerio! :)

PostSecret

Trust No One

Pictures From The Freeway

I love foggy days.

It's been so long since I've wanted this. . .

I remember my first kiss. Actually, I don't. It was either this cute black guy or the half-Mexican half-Caucasian guy, but that's besides the point. I haven't wanted to kiss somebody in so long. I made a vow to myself, well, sort of vow, that I wouldn't kiss anybody I didn't really really wanted to kiss. One time, I was going out with this guy and at the end of the date, I realized I didn't feel like kissing him. And it was not him, he was a cute, nice guy. It was me, I didn't feel that. . . that. . . je ne sais quoi. But I kissed him nevertheless, even though I really didn't want to. He was there and so was I, he had a set of lips and so did I. It felt like kissing a friend you really are not attracted too. I stopped seeing him after that.

I felt upset with myself for kissing somebody I didn't really want to kiss. So since that moment, I promised myself I would not lock lips with anybody I didn't want to and it's been so long since I wanted to do that. Of all the guys I've gone out with in the past year, not one has made me feel that huge attraction that makes you lose your rationale.

I'm not looking for love. For all I know, being in love is not exactly a good thing. I don't want to love. I'm missing the love gene, maybe one day I'll find it. I've never loved and I really don't want to anytime soon. I want to feel that long lost magnetism again. I want to meet a guy that will make me incapable of looking at him without staring at his lips with longing. Somebody that will make me want to taste him, not just kiss, but taste him. Where has that wild physical attraction gone? The last guy I went out with ended up being a hardcore republican who seemed to think the Bush administration was some kind of Narnia. No attraction there.

I don't want somebody to cuddle with. I don't want somebody to hold my hand. I want someone to make me want to forgo all my prudency, cautiousness, and modesty. Someone who will make me want to bite him. Oh my gosh, it's been so long since I've wanted to bite someone while kissing. The couple of guys I've been attracted to lately seem to have this baggage thing called marriage. . . sigh. For now, the only male I want to attack with kisses is my adorable dog, Oreo, and soon, maybe a hamster will join that list!

Where is home anyway?

"What is 'HOME' to you? No, seriously, what is "home" to you? When that word enters your brain, what images does it conjure up?"

My bed comes to mind when I think of home, but where exactly, I don't know. I've moved way to many times to call a place home. Home is wherever I sleep at night. Home is wherever my family is. I don't remember the first ten years of my life, so there goes my time in Perú. Japan was never really "home" per se. Then I moved here to California. First place I lived was Santa Ana, Orange County, then we moved to another county and we must have moved at least six more times in the last 5 years. Now we are moving again.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind moving. I hate the labor of course, but I get bored easily and moving is change and that's always interesting. I have learned to only keep, as Baloo would say, the simple bare necessities. I got rid of my bed because that's a bitch to move. I sleep on my mattress and I'm hoping to take it one step further and get a futon. Other than clothes, shoes, and books; I don't have much of anything else. I don't buy decorations, no photo frames on my desk, no teddy bears, nothing on the walls. . . and I like it that way. I will save all of that for when I find myself at "home" which I hope it will be New York.

Yeah, yeah, the girl that wants to move to New York and make it big. Well, I am the girl who wants to move to New York, but not necessarily make it big. I want to be happy. Maybe happy will be big, maybe it will be simple, whatever shapes it comes in, I'll take it. I greatly dislike California. I want to be able to WALK to a store, or a cafe. I don't want to have to get in my car and drive miles to get to the closest commercial area. I think, THINK, I would like New York. The variety! The difference! The chaos! The diversity! I HATE the fact that California's staple uniform seems to be tanned skin, blond hair, jeans, t-shirt and flip-flops. I love dressing up, I love crazy fashion, and at the same time, I feel inhibited here. If I do dress the way I want, meaning crazy high heels, houndstooth cropped jacket over a little black dress and if I'm feeling audaciously bold maybe a hat, people ask me "where are you going?" or "why are you so dressed up?" So just because I'm not wearing jeans and flip-flops then that means I'm "dressed up?"

What a bunch of bull!

"Home is not always where you are from, home is where where your soul fits."

No wire hangers ever!!!

I love my mother, I do. She's a strong woman and I admire her in every way, but she can also be a little unreasonable. I mean, what kind of mother tells her daughter she's going to live off of tuna and fruit from now on! Not to toot my own horn but I'm not overweight at all! My BMI is normal! My daddy bought me Oreo cookies yesterday and my mom got mad and said "She doesn't need to be eating cookies!"

I want cookies..........

Now she's made me self-conscious. I want to say I have enough confidence to not let something as silly as that bother me, but it's my mother. . . and she's always right. She's only given me good advice and. . . well. . . she's a mommy! Mommies are always right no? So, I figured losing ten pounds won't kill me. Ha! I say that because I have never tried to lose weight before and I don't know how hard it is! Sure, I'll lose ten pounds, uhu, no problemo!

Well, let's go over today's menu. I had 6 strawberries in the morning, I had regular coke (I can't drink diet coke! That crap is nasty); a tuna melt, no mayo (O.K., not exactly the best choice, but hey! mom said tuna, she didn't specify it couldn't be in buttery, toasted bread with cheese...drool); and 2 boiled eggs. AND the coke was a small one, only 100 calories Then I had some goldfish, and. . . that's it. Now I gotta figure out what to have for dinner probably tuna again.

Here I go!

Rationale

I know I'm being unreasonble,

but reason is not being
my friend right now

If anything, reason has not only left me but it has
become my enemy as well

Maybe I'm being too pragmatic

maybe I
need to "loosen up"

Well, my fight over reason is not over

I
shall be victorious and reason will bow in defeat

Serenity now! Insanity Later!

I'm a grown up!

Up until recently, my biggest fear when I was home alone was the boogeyman, now it's serial killers! I must be maturing!

Will Power!!!!

I ain't got none!!

I'm so easily persuaded.

With just one look, you can have it at your mercy

I want to stop but I can't

I don't want to stop, because it just feels too good

It's too good

I can just taste it....taste it

Damn you PANCAKES!!!!

photo source

Diet!!!

I want to begin eating healthy, not to lose weight because I don't even know how much I weight (if you have a scale, won't you send it my way?), but because, well...at one point I gotta take that off of my resolution list! Here's to a healthy 2009!!!

People, be good to your opticians...

Don't make me kill you...

1. Glasses don't last forever. Those Prada, Versace, Gucci glasses you've had for over 3 years and broke "out of nowhere?" They are made out of plastic and metal, not indestructible designer material.

2. Yes, we have to charge you every time you see the doctor. They went to school for a bunch of years to obtain the knowledge they have now to treat your eye problems. You are taking the doctor's time and skill, why shouldn't we charge you? The doctor won't die if you don't pay for the consult, but you could go blind...so who needs who?

3. If you want to get contact lenses you are going to need another exam. An eye exam is not the same as a contact lens exam. When the doctor is checking the health of the eye in the exam, he's checking for glaucoma, cataracts, etc. He's not checking to see if your eyes are healthy enough for contact lenses and the glasses Rx is not always the same as the contact lens one. You need a separate exam for that. On that note, you need to get your contact lenses exam EVERY YEAR. Why? Because while glasses go over your eyes, contact lenses go inside. That's a more sensitive part don't you think? And by law, we can't sell you contact lenses if your prescription expired. To bad sucker!

4. Reps for designer frames need to know that we are sure the doctors appreciate how nice you are to them and all the gifts you give them, but who are the one that are going to sell and push your products? Not them. So when you completely ignore us and go straight to the doctor, we know which lines will do good and which ones won't. Say Prada has a cute pair of black plastic frames and Versace had a very similar one and they both look good on the patient. Why would I push one product over the other? Give me a reason.

5. Watch your kids or they will be sold as slaves!!!

6. Warranties don't last forever.

7. Just because we are the same race or you and doctor share the same native country doesn't mean you get a discount.

8. Why are the designer glasses so expensive?!?!??! Why don't you ask the manufacturer and tell them to stop increasing their prices.

9. If you have MediCal (state insurance, the kind you don't pay for), just know that we will probably get paid 10 bucks for the exam, lenses and frames you took home. Don't be too demanding because, although we'll treat you the same as any other patient, if you took your "business somewhere else" it really wouldn't hurt us...really.

10. Well, I'm sure there's more...I'll think of more stuff soon...

Reasons why I would love to have my own place

I love my family to death, I truly do. But sometimes. . .

I was having dinner with a friend today and we started talking about how our big dreams have become small, more realistic dreams over time. One of those dreams is to one day move my ass from California to New York, find a nice apartment and pursue my career over there.

I don't obsess over this, but every once in a while certain things will make wish I could tap my heels three times and go home to my own New York apartment in the Twilight Zone.

If I had my own place I could:

*Wake up to some hot ass rock song, or salsa, or whatever my little heart desires.

*Have a walk-in closet with huge, and I mean huuuge shelves for my shoes.

*Get the pool table out of the garage and put it in the main living room.

*Eat in the sink on disposable platic plates so I won't have to do dishes. . . although that's bad for the environment. . . nevermind.

*Recycle in peace!!!!!!

*Have candles everywhere.

*Get another huge shelf for my books, so they don't have to be all in boxes.

*Come home from work and undress as I make my way to my room without worrying about modesty or picking up after myself right away.

*Walk around my place naked; again, no modesty involved.

*Sleep in the nude during hot summer nights, no AC, windows open, blinds closed ;)

*Take long bubble baths without having somebody knocking on the door asking me to hurry up.

*Dance like no one is watching.

Victory!

I hula hooped for 40 minutes straight! I can scratch this off of my to-do list! Now that's how you start the new Year! Resolution #30? check.

Subliminal Message

Cinnamon roll, a coffee's best friend.

I got my morning coffee as I usually do and before I exited the Jack in the Box establishment I read that statement; "Cinnamon roll, a coffee's best friend," and I'll be damned if its not true! I went back there got my coffee a best friend and then skedaddled to work. While I sat on my usual chair and I turned on my computer, I dwelled in the darkness of the office, sipping my coffee before the boss and patients arrive and that statement on the cup holder just made me laugh at the hilarity of it all. I didn't need Cinnamon rolls, I know I called it "my morning coffee as usual'' but by that I meant the jolt of caffeine I get whenever my stomach isn't in knots as it usually is in the morning. But at that moment, I just had to get my coffee its best friend and hell, I enjoyed eating his best friend.

That whole thing got me thinking of advertisement and its efficacy. I think advertisement works to a certain extent. For example, I think of myself as a semi-slut when it comes to cell phones. Everyday, I think of cheating on my good ol' Rumor from Sprint. I see the iphone and the blackberry and Verizon's new touch screen cell. But would I ever actually two-time my faithful rumor? No. And not because I don't want to, but because I don't have the money to actually do it.

Ahogadalajara

I have done many bad things to my body (especially to my feet). I mean, we all have at one point. I have put my poor bladder under extreme stress when refusing to use a public restroom and waiting until I got home. I have already mentioned the torture methods i subject my feet to with my shoes. I have passed the threshold of hunger, turning into nausea and in return making my stomach so upset I couldn't eat for two days. I have pushed my legs on the treadmill far more times than I can count, I have tried to belly dance to exhaustion,making my back hate me for days, etc. . . but today I hit a new low.

I had once again crossed that threshold where hunger becomes nausea, but I hate letting my psyche dictate what my body should do and I know my psyche is saying: ''If you eat, you are gonna puke!'' whereas my stomach is saying: ''Um, we haven't eaten since last night, a little lunch would be nice????'' (i never eat breakfast), so i decided to let my carnal needs take over my mind and got a carne asada burrito at this Mexican place i had never been to before called ahogadalajara; which i think is a hybrid of "tortas ahogadas" and "Guadalajara." Ahogadalajara, get it?

Anyway, there I go, skipping my way to the joint and I must say, it was a pretty nice place. There was all these Mexicans decorations and the people were nice and the menu, ohmygod, the menu. . . so i get the damn burrito, skip my way back to work, open the Styrofoam container and I encounter the atrocity above!!! O.K., I'm not a real Mexican so you give me a tortilla with carne asada inside and that's a burrito to me. But i had never seen a burrito of that texture; the rice was a different color, a little too mushy as well; the carne asada was hard to chew; I couldn't taste the cheese; and I'm sorry, where are the beans I was promised? I swallowed hard and said to my stomach: ''Stomach, you wanted this so damnit you are gonna eat it all! That was $7 I could have used on something else.'' I take the first bite and lets just say I would rather eat a dollar burger from McDonald's or any other fast food place than eat that again.

You know that episode on Seinfeld when George's girlfriend keeps going to the bathroom after eating and Jerry thinks she could be throwing up the food? Remember the first thing George said? he wasn't concerned about his girlfriend's well-being, he was more concerned with the fact that he was paying for food that was going to the toilet! Man I've never agreed with George more! I had two options: I could throw away the food and either get something else or not eat at all, rendering my 7 bucks a waste; or I could eat it and risk puking, but hey maybe i wouldn't puke! Then at least i wouldn't lose the 7 bucks. Well, I went with the latter and even though I felt like puking i didn't. I felt so victorious over that burrito! It had been looking at me taunting me with those greasy eyes saying: ''That's 7 bucks you will never see again.'' But no sir, nope, I ate that mofo like there was no tomorrow. Victory!

I have resorted to this

Your Learning Style: Enthusiastic and Imaginative

You are always up for an intellectual challenge - in fact, hard subjects are actually easiest for you. You Should Study: Advertising Astronomy Biology Chemistry Finance Journalism Marketing Physics

What Should You Study?

I am so confused as to what to do with the rest of my life that I have resorted to an internet quiz based on merely four questions. . . FOUR QUESTIONS! It did match what I had in mind though. . . must be a sign. . .

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
*
JOHN MCCAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
*
HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
*
DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not tak ing on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
*
OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
*
GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
*
COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
*
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
*
JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
*
NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
*
PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
*
MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
*
DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
*
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.
*
JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing th e road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
*
GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
*
BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
*
ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
*
JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
*
BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.
*
ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
*
BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
*
AL GORE:I invented the chicken!
*
COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?
*
DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?
*
AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
*
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
*
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
*
CARL JUNG: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
*
CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
*
LIFE OF BRIAN (MONTY PYTHON): He's not a chicken, he's a very naughty bird.
*
JOHN McENROE: Cross the road?! You cannot be serious!! That chicken was on the line!!!
*
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
*
VITE CORLEONE: We made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

Color Me Pink

I'm a girl, and as such I like girly things in moderation. One thing I never liked though was the color pink. It never appealed to me, to be quite honest. I've always been more into blacks, greys, greens, and reds. However, in the last year or so, I have been able to make amends with the color pink and I've actually learned to embrace it.

The strangest thing happened last week. I was browsing at the mall and decided to stock up on underwear because, well. . . you can never have enough right? And for the first time I purchased a pair of pink panties and matching bras. What in Dante's inferno possessed me to do that? I don't know, but I'm currently enjoying the new pink additions.